


The Pudding Cops!

by A Cool Boy 111 (Acoolboy8)



Series: Parody Stories [12]
Category: Hyperdimension Neptunia
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-25 13:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18575353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acoolboy8/pseuds/A%20Cool%20Boy%20111





	The Pudding Cops!

At Linda's house.

Linda is sitting on the couch, petting a cat. "Pretty old shitty kitty. Yes. You're my favorite cat. I'm gonna make out with you." Linda said and went to give kisses to the cat, but her door gets knocked down.

"Police! Remain where you are! We are armed and cops!" Neptune shouted.

"Your days of selling those pudding cups are over pal!" Noire shouted. The two went into the living room.

"Ah. Girls, what can I do for you?" Linda smirked.

"Don't play dumb with us, Linda! We know you get large shipments of pudding in here." Noire said and aimed her shot gun at the Underling.

"I don't know what you're-"

"Shut up you pudding butthole!" Neptune said.

"Let's just relax a second, would you like to enjoy some lotion?" Linda said and shows the bottle of lotion on the coffee table. Noire and Neptune look at one another.

"Shut up Linda! Now where are those puddings!" Noire said. Neptune went to the lotion and starts to put lotion on her hands. "Neptune? What the heck are you doing?"

"My hands are crusty!" She said.

"Yeah! Her hands are crusty." Linda said.

"Shut up Linda!"

"My hands are lubricated. Now it's time to get down to Pudding business!" Neptune said and aimed her hand gun at Linda. "Now answer Noire! Where are you stashing the puddings?"

"What Puddings?" 

"Quit playing monkey games!" Neptune shouted. Noire sees a door that is slightly open in the living room.

"Hey Neptune? What do you think's behind here?" Noire said and looks at the door behind her.

"I don't know. What is behind her, Linda?" Neptune asked.

"I don't know! I don't know..."

"Check it out Noire." 

"What are you so afraid of? Got something to hide." Noire opens the door and gasps once she sees what's inside. "Holy Dogoos."

"What do we got over there, Noire?" Neptune asked and joined her. She gasps too. They found the pudding stash.

"I think we just hit the mother load." Noire said. "Chocolate chip!"

"Butterscotch!" Neptune cried.

"Oreos!"

"M&M's!"

"Double Chocolate chip!"

"Snicker doodle!"

"Vanilla Waffers!"

"Alphabet!"

"Old Fashion Molasses!

"Birthday Cake Pudding!" Neptune's fake mustache falls off. Neptune and Noire turn around and aim their guns at Linda.

"Hands off Linda! You just earned a free butt fucking pass to prison!" Noire shouted.

"Noire? I think we need back up!"

"I do not own them puddings!" Linda cried.

"Cuff her, Neptune."

"Roger that!" Neptune salutes and gets the hand cuffs, Linda runs away.

"Oh! She's fleeing the scene!" Noire cried.

"Let's go kill her since we're cops!" Neptune said and the two cops follow Linda into the kitchen. She was with her kitty, on the floor.

"You can take me.... but don't take my pretty kitty." Linda said and had tears in her eyes.

"Go get the cat." Noire looked at Neptune. Neptune nods and grabs the kitty and puts it away.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Linda cries.

"Any last words, Linda?" Neptune asked.

"You know how many people you'd be depriving of their precious pudding!? Think about it! If you kill me, the Pudding God! Where are the people gonna get pudding from? They'll be stealing from people and finding puddings and making their own puddings! Then you'll have to kill them and kill everybody and there'll be mass pudding genocide! And then you'll be the bad guys....yeah you fucks." Linda rambled on and on.

"I get the head, you get her chest." Neptune said.

"Roger that." Noire said and the two shoot Linda dead. "Goodbye! Fuck nut!"

"So, you want to crack some root beers and watch Hyerdimension Neptunia?" Neptune asked.

"Fuck yeah Neptune!" Noire cheered.


End file.
